January 2009
The year started in Leeds, with Craig, having sex on the green sofa in the sitting room.
We had the countdown on the television and everyone was out. Neither of us like new year to say the least, so we played it down and just enjoyed each others company. Not long after, we went to bed, and no new years resolutions we're made. Apart from, perhaps, to just be better.
We had spent the week in Leeds, an on 2nd January 2009, Craig went back home to Sunderland, closely followed by me a few day's later after yet another rush to hand in an assignment at uni. The night before was spent drinking wine and eating chocolate with Cathy in my living room as we laughed at Ross and Gibbo watching the darts and made a failed attempt at doing some work. By about 2am we had completely given up, neither of us having started our main essay's, and Cathy went home. I spent until around 5am on the phone to Craig, neither of us could sleep.
This certainly wasn't the last I would see of my inability to sleep. For the past month it's been causing me a lot of problems, and meaning that I haven't had a lot of motivation to do anything.
So far this year I've been going back and forward between Leeds and Sunderland, never really settling in either place and getting bored, emotional, lonely and frustrated, to name a few feelings, whenever I've stayed anywhere too long.
By about half way through the month, it had been pretty much settled that from 1st July, me, Craig, Cara, Jay, Cathy and Sean would be living together in the house that I am currently in now, when Phil, Ross, Walshy and Gibbo move out. Right now I feel like I'm just spending my time waiting for the month to pass before I can make the place feel like home. Don't get me wrong, I like my current housemates and we get along, but they aren't my friends. And I feel as though I will be much more settled and content living there when I'm with people I feel completely comfortable with. We've now all signed the tenancy agreement and paid out bonds, now all we have to do is fine a 7th housemate.
On the 15th, I had two exams to sit for uni; Social and Cognitive. I had had no motivation leading up to them, and therefore did no revision, the nights leading up to them had been exceptionally bad and I hadn't been sleeping and had been feeling really low, meaning that I didn't put much effort into them at all. I think I'll be more surprised if i actually pass them than if i found out I'd have to re-sit. I stayed in Leeds for the 16th, which was a Friday, because it was Cathy's last night out before her heart operation, and Cara, Amy and Basil came across to join the fun, as I hadn't seen Amy or Cara in a while. The night was eventful to say the least, previous to them arriving I had been feeling awful, and really wasn't very up for the company, but I knew it would be better once they were there, and it was. It took my mind off whatever was making me so miserable for a while. The next morning, my mam came down to pick us up, and we all made the trip back up to Sunderland. The following day's heard some amusing revelation's about what we assume were Cara's antic's on the Friday night, none of which she can remember.
On the 19th, I went back down to Leeds, this time with Craig in tow. We spent most of that day asleep as we'd had a very early start and were both tired, then on the 20th we went to see We Are The Ocean, at Cockpit, and although we had planned on staying out after, no one else was out, and we didn't stay very long, before going home with our pizza and chips. We didn't particularly do much for the rest of the week, and there were a few arguments, then on Friday evening it was time to go home. I hadn't been feeling well that day and it was getting progressively worse, so although I had planned to take Craig to his Megabus and see him off, he sent me home to bed.
Despite feeling so unwell, I agreed to go to the Kerrang! Relentless tour on the Saturday night with Louise to see Mindless Self Indulgence. It was good, even though we stood at the back and danced, we didn't stay out afterwards though because we were both ill, and this just made me throat worse. Instead we went home to bed, but I spent about 5 hour's on the phone to Craig, it wasn't a pleasant 5 hour's and I didnt get to sleep until around 5am, I got very upset.
I spent the next couple of day's in bed, still feeling down, but also I'll, my tonsilitis returned. I was supposed to start my second semester at uni on the 26th, but I didn't go, i spent the day in bed ill, and decided that if i wasn't well the next day I was going to come home for a cuddle because i was feeling very emotional. Needless to say, i missed the next day of uni, and came home. Which is where I am now. I think I'll probably go back to Leeds on Sunday after the Tyne and Wear derby after missing a whole week of uni.
I really hope i start to feel better soon, both physically and mentally. The not sleeping is really getting to me and making everything seem worse because I'm so tired all of the time.
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